


Quiet Hands

by AutisticWriter



Series: Whumptober [25]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: 'Quiet Hands', Ableism, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Autism, Autism Spectrum, Autistic Fujisaki Chihiro, Autistic Ishimaru Kiyotaka, Bath Houses, Bathing/Washing, Childhood Trauma, Crying, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Gen, Hugs, Implied ABA, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Male Pronouns for Fujisaki Chihiro, One Shot, One-Sided Fujisaki Chihiro/Owada Mondo, Owada Mondo Swears, Past Child Abuse, Prompt Fic, Restraints, Stimming, Swearing, Whump, Whumptober 2018
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-25
Updated: 2018-10-25
Packaged: 2019-08-07 13:59:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16409777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AutisticWriter/pseuds/AutisticWriter
Summary: Chihiro notices that Kiyotaka never seems to stim, and decides to ask why. He doesn’t expect to learn some horrible things about his friend’s past.[Prompt 25: Restraints]





	Quiet Hands

Kiyotaka is autistic, but Chihiro never sees him stim. Now, Chihiro is autistic himself, and he stims quite a lot, whether it be rubbing his fingers over the lace hem of his skirt or running his fingers through his hair or rocking in his seat as he types away at his laptop; pretty much, Chihiro stims a good 50% of the time, even if his stims are subtle enough to miss. But Kiyotaka, Chihiro has never, ever seen him stimming.

He brings this up with Mondo one day when they sit in the boys’ locker room, taking a break from their workout. Sweat patterns his tracksuit and he still feels kind of like a weakling for only being able to lift a fraction of what Mondo can, but he tries to put those thoughts to the side.

“Hey, Mondo?” he says.

Mondo glances at him. “Yeah?”

“You know how I stim, don’t you?”

“Uh, that’s the kinda fidgety shit you do coz of your autism, right?”

Chihiro beams; Mondo is such a good friend to know all of this stuff. “Yeah, that’s right. Well, have you noticed that Taka never stims?”

Mondo frowns, wiping sweat from his forehead. “Now you say it, bro never actually fidgets, does he?”

“The thing is, you can tell he needs to do it sometimes. You know, when he starts trembling when he’s upset or angry and you know he’d probably feel a lot better if he let himself stim… but he doesn’t do it. And suppressing your stims isn’t good for you – maybe that’s why he has so many meltdowns.”

Because Kiyotaka has far too many meltdowns, leaving him embarrassed, Chihiro crying and Mondo trying to work out how to help.

“Yeah, you gotta point,” Mondo says. “So… you’re worried about bro?”

Chihiro hunches forwards, wrapping his arms around himself. “I am, yeah. What should we do?”

“Just have a chat, I guess. And don’t you get stressed, man.”

He smiles weakly. “Yeah. Thanks, Mondo.”

After their workout, the pair head to the bathhouse to have a wash – and spot Taka. Their friend is shouting at Makoto for running in the halls, and Makoto retorts that he was only running because Genocider was trying to slice his legs open. In true Taka fashion, Kiyotaka says, “That is no excuse for breaking the rules.”

“Easy, bro,” Mondo says, wandering over with Chihiro scuttling behind him. “Let him go.”

Taka turns to Mondo, and Chihiro nearly giggles when Makoto makes the chance to tiptoe away. “Sorry, I just find rule breaking so irritating.”

“Trust me, bro, we know,” Mondo says.

“Hey, Taka,” Chihiro says, poking his head out from behind Mondo. “Want to come to the bathhouse with us? We need to have a wash after our workout.”

Taka looks between them both, and smiles slightly. “That sounds like a plan.”

As Taka walks off to get his towels and stuff, Mondo mutters, “Do you wanna bring up your stimming thing in there?”

Chihiro nods. “It seems like a good place.”

Still trailing after Mondo, Chihiro joins him in the bathhouse. He strips off his clothes, incredibly self-conscious about his weak body, and wraps a towel around his waist. He takes a glance at Mondo, and his eyes widen at Mondo’s impressive muscles. Realising he might be getting a bit of a crush on Mondo, Chihiro sighs, longing to be strong like him.

After taking quick showers, they head towards the baths. They leave their towels by the side of the bath and slip into the largest bath, the water so warm and soothing. Chihiro dunks his head under the water, and jumps when, upon surfacing, he sees Taka stood by the bath.

“Hey, bro,” Mondo says. “Wanna join us?”

“Of course,” Taka says, and he joins them both in the bath.

Chihiro glances at Mondo, and Mondo nods. So, taking a deep breath, Chihiro says, “Can I ask you something, Taka?”

Taka looks at him, tilting his head slightly. “Of course. What is on your mind?”

He wraps his arms around himself, hoping this won’t go badly. “Uh, Taka… why don’t you stim?”

Taka stares at Chihiro, his smile faltering. Oh crap… is this going wrong already?

“What do you mean?”

“He means you’re autistic but we never see you stim and Chihiro thinks you probably need to but always stop yourself,” Mondo says. “Bro, is there something wrong? Coz if someone’s upset you or something, I’ll fuck them up.”

Taka looks down at the water, eyes tracking the ripples. “What… do you…?”

“Taka?” Chihiro says. “Have I upset you?” His eyes sting with tears. “Please, I’m sorry if I’ve upset you.”

Taka sees him near tears, and grimaces, screwing his eyes up. “No… you haven’t done anything. I simply…”

“Bro?” Mondo says. “You okay?”

“I want to tell you something,” Taka says, his voice trembling ever so slightly. “But you have to promise to keep it a secret.” He glances around, reminding them both they aren’t monitored in here. “You must promise.”

“Sure thing, I promise, bro,” Mondo says.

Chihiro sniffs, willing himself not to cry. Just what is wrong with Taka? “I promise.”

Taka nods, sighing shakily. “I… used to stim a lot as a child. Until… when I was seven, I was diagnosed with autism and my doctor recommended something called Applied Behaviour Analysis.”

“Oh shit,” Chihiro whispers, shocked enough to swear for once. He knows where this is going. Please say Taka didn’t have to…

“What?” Mondo says, confused.

“He s-said it was a therapy to help me, me deal with my symptoms,” Taka continues. “But it was… horrific. The, the therapist took all of my favourite things – my favourite candy and potato chips, my favourite books and my favourite DVDs – away from me and said I could only have them if I complied. I…”

Taka trails off, his breathing shaking.

“Please, Taka, you don’t have to carry on!” Chihiro says, tears spilling down his face. He sloshes through the water towards Taka, not caring that they’re both naked as he clings to his friend’s arm. “I know what ABA is. Please, it’s okay.”

Even though Mondo still doesn’t get it, he clearly knows Taka is freaking out big time. “Fuck, bro, if this is gonna hurt you, you don’t need to tell us. We get it.”

Taka shakes his head, tears shining in his eyes. “No, I… I want to. C-complying meant doing things to make me a-act normal. She forced me to make eye contact, even though it made my head hurt so badly I cried in agony. She… she knew I didn’t like the feeling of Velcro, so she scraped it across my skin and told me of when I cried. She knew I h-hated minty flavours so when I wouldn’t make eye contact, she shoved mints in my mouth and forced me to eat them.”

Kiyotaka groans, tears leaking down his face.

“Bro…” Mondo mumbles, looking prepared to rip this ‘therapist’ limb from limb.

“She… she made me sit on this special chair throughout all of this. It was a chair with restraints on it. If I wouldn’t stop bouncing my legs, she strapped my ankles to the legs of the chair. If I fidgeted with my hands, she restrained them by strapping my wrists to the armrests.”

A proper sob escapes Taka’s throat, and he covers his face with wet hands. Tears stream down Chihiro’s cheeks; he’s read about autistic kids being forced through this shit, but Mom and Dad never made him do it. Mondo stares at Taka, agony in his eyes.

“And… when she wasn’t restraining me, she, she taught me a phrase to stop stimming with my hands. Whenever I was biting my nails or flapping my hands or fidgeting with the buttons on my jacket, all she had to do was snap ‘quiet hands’ and…”

As if to prove his works, the moment that phrase leaves Taka’s lips, his hands fall to his sides, hitting the water with a slap. His face crumples and he sobs pitifully, and Chihiro wants to throw up.

“Everyone said it: my parents, my teachers at school, everyone I knew. If they saw me stimming, they said ‘quiet hands’ and I had to stop, because I was scared I would get an aversive punishment like mints or Velcro. They… conditioned me to not stim out of fear I would get hurt. I… I just can’t do it.”

“Oh, Taka, I…” Chihiro sobs, pulling his friend into an awkward hug and crying into his shoulder. “I’m so sorry.”

“Fuck them all,” Mondo growls, hands clenched into fists. “They abused my bro and said it was okay coz he’s autistic? The fucking bastards! I hope they fucking die!” But he manages to calm down, realising his anger isn’t needed right now, moving towards Taka. And as he rubs Taka’s back and tries to calm their friend down, he says, “It’s okay, bro.”

Chihiro doesn’t know what to say; all he knows is that he hates everyone who hurt his friend, and hugging Taka seems to make them both feel a bit better.


End file.
